Chapter 2
Attachment is the foundation of all growth.
In this lesson, I will orient you to the purpose of attachment-focused parenting.
I absolutely love this Gabor Maté quote, and it really grounds me on tough parenting days:
“Attachment is the first priority of living things. It is only when there is some release from this preoccupation that maturation can occur. In plants, the roots must first take hold for growth to commence and bearing fruit to become a possibility. For children, the ultimate agenda of becoming viable as a separate being can take over only when their needs are met for attachment, for nurturing contact, and for being able to depend on the relationship unconditionally.
The key to activating maturation is to take care of the attachment needs of the child. To foster independence, we must first invite dependence; to promote individuation we must provide a sense of belonging and unity; to help the child separate we must assume the responsibility for keeping the child close.”
One of the ways that we can assess the quality of our relationships with our children is an assessment called The Child-Parent Relationship Scale (CPRS) - Short Form (15 self-report questions). I encourage you to click on the PDF below and fill it out right now (at the beginning of this course) and after you have been doing weekly special playtimes for a few months. This will help you to notice any - hopefully positive! - changes.
